Don’t just buy for people, ‘be’ for them
- B.J. Yoder: Young Money
- December 10, 2021
- 625
In America we are extremely materialistic, and if you don’t agree with me, look around you.
When I recently moved, the common joke was we only had to move about 10 items, and someone asked me if I actually owned anything. I was just a single man living in a one-family house, so I didn’t want a bunch of stuff to pile up, and that’s why I barely had anything. When I moved, though, I bought some furniture, and looking around, I am surrounded by possessions. No matter what you say, it is human nature to be materialistic.
That being said, we have Christmas coming up, and I am hoping you are already done Christmas shopping because I am not. I am about 75% of the way there, but the last 25% is going to be the toughest. Along with Christmas comes our renewed sense of how we absolutely love new things. Think about Christmases throughout the years, anything from video games, Legos, board games and toys to iPhones, TVs and just cold, hard cash. Even though we don’t want it to happen, Christmas turns into a very materialistic holiday.
Along with holidays, I am sure we have all heard the joke about Thanksgiving: “Black Friday — because only in America people trample others for sales exactly one day after being thankful for what we already have.” Somehow, we have managed to turn two of the biggest holidays that shouldn’t be about material items into two about material items.
I know I have been guilty of this because I would leave after our family’s Thanksgiving would wind down to buy things that are obsolete in my life now or I didn’t even need.
The big question is how do we reverse this? How do we change our mind-set from stuff to an outward focus? It is simple: We realize we’re not the actual owners; we are just stewards of what we have been given.
I was listening to a podcast, and the podcaster said, “What you can’t share, you don’t own. It owns you.” I had to step back because I realized there are some things in my life that actually “own” me. I hope I am the only one, but I can use the excuse of “I’ve been burned in the past when I let someone use something I own” or “last time I lent something to someone it came back in worse condition than when it left me.” We can have endless excuses, but we are just kidding ourselves when it comes down to it because that thing actually owns us.
There’s an emotional side to things because we want to get something great for our significant other, kid, mom and dad, or other family members or friends, but does it prove to them how much we love them? Absolutely not. There is no reason to go in debt to show someone how much we love them with material possessions.
I could find a definitive statistic, but if you don’t think holiday debt is a problem, think again. People are willing to go into debt to make the holidays a picture-perfect day or season, but that’s not what it is about. People will love you for the time you give them, for the company, the advice. Just being there for them is what matters. It doesn’t matter that you bought them the newest, greatest thing. It’s the fact you’re there with them for the holidays.
Spend the money you’ve allotted for the holidays, but don’t risk going into debt to make everyone happy. Be there and be present (get it?) while you are with the people you love.
Holmes County native BJ Yoder is an insurance agent by day and a finance enthusiast by night. This column is for informational purposes only. He can be emailed at benjamin.john.yoder@gmail.com.