Forgive, yes, but forgetting not always easy
- Kyle Snyder: Live on Purpose
- November 3, 2021
- 1165
We all have heard the old saying forgive and forget, but I would like to question that thinking. We need to forgive people for their wrongdoing against us. That is a key to the Christian faith that so many of us hold to. If God is so gracious and has forgiven those of us who have humbly asked him for forgiveness, then we should likewise return the favor by forgiving others. Even Jesus told us in Matthew 6:15, “But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
We are told God forgets our sin, and in one version of the Bible, it tells us our sin is thrown into the sea of forgetfulness. However, we have never been told to forget. I believe if we are talking about not holding on to sin and using it against the person, I agree totally. Who would want someone bringing up something they did wrong all the time? If we continually bring up past hurts, then we should realize we are only hurting ourselves. The saying “forgive and forget” is good if it means let go of the hurt, but if we totally forget, then we only set ourselves up for failure.
By totally forgetting when someone takes advantage of us, we will be mistakenly allowing ourselves to be in the position of having it happen again. By remembering our past mistakes, we will hopefully make better choices moving forward.
For example, let’s say you buy a car from a smooth-talking salesman that turns out to be a lemon. By remembering what happened, you will be more aware of what to watch out for the next time. You may bring someone you trust to help you and have a second set of ears to listen for anything that is too good to be true.
I used to work with a man who worked at the job a little longer than he should have, meaning he wasn’t happy with the job anymore. He was focused on everything that was wrong. Unfortunately, he did that in he personal life as well. I tried to do my job, but I found it more difficult as time went on. He kept on me to do more within the same amount of time. I worked as hard as I could, trying to get more done, but I was almost killing myself. He just got more and more negative, and then he told me the boss was watching me.
I got worried I was going to be fired. Finally, I felt I needed to check it out for myself. I talked to my boss, who was not only happy with me, but also told me not to worry about my co-worker. I forgave him, but now I always check for myself when something like that happens to me.
I can’t say I wasn’t mad at him at the time, but over time I could remember it as a learning experience. That is what we all should do: just learn from our experiences. It never helps to hate anyone because we always hurt ourselves more than the other person. Know the other person is human with feelings, hurts and emotions just like us. Maybe it will take time to get over the hurt, and we should know it may not happen overnight, but we should just learn from it and move on.
I have been praying for a blessing for a person who didn’t treat me right. I have a hard time with it, but it helps me not to become bitter at the person. The goal is to learn not to hate. Try it and see how it plays out in your own life.