Couch's allure can turn into lesson in reality
- Laura Moore: Housebroken
- April 8, 2025
- 353
Once, when we were younger and in the process of moving into a new house, we made an expensive mistake. We fell in love with a lovely couch. It was white with graceful lines, and it promised ease of care, but, of course, it was just leading us on.
When our new couch arrived, it was sealed in a cocoon of plastic wrapping. We should have left it sealed. Once freed from its wrapping, the problems began. Turns out that couch was very sensitive and required lots of attention.
It did not care to be sat upon in an unseemly manner; slouching, lounging and lying down were strongly discouraged. Consumption of food or beverages within spill or splatter distance was forbidden. Contact with newsprint and pets was prohibited.
Living with a brand-new white couch — especially for a family with both young children and pets — was difficult. Susceptible to spots and stains, that couch’s good looks could be sullied in an instant. We had no choice — we had to protect it.
And we did — for about a month. During that time our living room took on a whole new look. Gone was the slightly messy, very informal appearance with which it had lived comfortably. For one brief, shining month, our living room lived the formal, elegant life to which it had always aspired.
It couldn’t last, of course. The inevitable happened: The couch got a spot — not a bad spot, but a spot nonetheless. Everyone breathed a heartfelt sigh of relief and relaxed. We no longer felt obligated to cater to the new couch.
Our lives were back to normal — as was our living room. Everyone is happier, even the couch. A not-quite-white couch is a much happier and more relaxed piece of furniture. In no time at all, there were more spots, which we dealt with by covering them with pretty throws. Those throws actually made the couch look prettier!
Laura Moore can be emailed at lehmoore1@gmail.com.